It’s been an especially overwhelming week. The past few days I’ve been trying to meditate and journal. Yet it all feels like a bit too much, just a bit too out of control.
I find that it helps to keep trying things. It’s good to take a break. It’s okay to lose control. It helps to have self compassion when going through tough moments. The road to healing is winding and confusing, so having a few tools in the toolbox gives us ammo to combat difficult and unexpected situations.
The hard moments keep me humble and remind me to keep on learning. I remember that I haven’t figured it all out. I’m constantly reminded by the universe to be open and curious. It’s a balance though. If we are too open we can feel like we are losing ourselves. We can believe in ourselves and our abilities, but remain attentive to new things and change. Balance, the constant act of adjusting our thinking and positioning. Though even that feels like too much sometimes.
It’s my tendency to reach for absolute resolutions. Complete surrender or complete control seem like far better options, because then I don’t have to be so aware or think about what’s going on so much. I want an absolute unifying theory. I want to keep life simple. I want things to stay the same. It’s nice to rest in a certain philosophy and not have to change. As human beings we need some stability. We need some constancy.
Yet I know what I want is not reality. Rigid thinking closes us off from others and the universe. Absolutes alienate us from the true nature of the universe. I see my vicious cycle of wanting absolutes and recurring frustration. I recognize my fear of change and the unknown. I’m afraid of the uncertainty.
Have routine in life, but also play it by ear. Try to live by certain values but adapt when new ones seem more suitable. Be open to change. Believe in yourself yet not too sure of yourself. It’s balance. It’s reality. It’s truth. This is what it feels like to be alive. We never settle, we are constantly on the move. Yet there are moments of rest.
Open yourself to the true nature of the universe. Dare to live grounded in what is.
No ‘no’ or ‘yes’ is absolute. It’s all a spectrum. A constantly changing spectrum. In the midst of change it’s useful to use your routines and techniques for returning to yourself and grounding, but don’t bury yourself. You must take flight once again.
You want to have it solved, but I’m afraid we can’t. Be at peace, just right here.
The unresolved universe will be what it is.
Release the obsession with trying to solve everything.
The obsession is driven by fear. You will be freer for it.You begin to see your blind spots. You stop incarcerating yourself in certain philosophies. Life becomes less frustrating. Accept your role as human on this planet earth. It ‘s not your role to understand everything. You’ll be happier. You’ll be more present. You’ll be more at peace. You’ll be okay.